Pink Elephants on Parade
by AuroranWings
Summary: -Summary- After one too many drinks at the bar, Musica slurs back one night, only to be hassled by pink elephants... Haru and the gang must figure out a way to get their drunken and confused friend home... -WARNING: ONE-SHOT-HUMOR-


Can you see how bored I get sometimes…?

That's all I have to say.

**DISCLAIMER #1**: I don't own Rave Master, if I did the anime would be completely redone because it makes the whole series look like a pansy-series. –coughcough-The manga is better-coughcough-

**DISCLAIMER #2**: I also don't own the song 'Pink Elephants on Parade' though it is the coolest song ever. )

**DISCLAIMER #3**: I only own the randomness that appears in this fiction/one-shot, and the strange events that occur…

R&R!

* * *

After one too many drinks at the bar, Musica decides to walk home, meanwhile Haru & Elie and Co. are desperately searching for him. 

Muttering to himself about how hot Elie is and how she should be with him, taking an occasional swig from a vodka bottle, Musica spots something out of the corner of his eye.

He blinks, and meanders drunkenly over to where he thought something moving. Suddenly… he sees large ears. And short pink tails. And large pink bodies. That could only mean...

"OH MY GOD! THEY'RE PINK ELEHPANTS! …AND THEY'RE PARADING!" Musica slurs in broken speech.

As if on cue, a song starts up in his head, Musica screams and starts running away, the 'elephants' following him.

_Look out! Look out!  
Pink elephants on parade  
Here they come!  
Hippety hoppety  
They're here and there  
Pink elephants ev'rywhere  
Look out! Look out!_

"ELEPHAAAAAAAAAANTS!" Musica screamed, running blindly by Haru, Elie, Plue, and Griff, all of whom sweat dropped rather largely seeing their ordinarily so calm and cool friend Musica run past them screaming, waving a half-full bottle of vodka maniacally.

No, ' 'stumbling' past ' would seem more fitting, seeing as Musica wasn't half sober at the time. Anyway, back to the story.

"Ummm… guys? Shouldn't we go… well, ya know, find him?" Elie asked, holding Plue in her arms.

"Puuuu!" Plue cried.

"Maybe… you're right. Maybe he went out drinking or… something…" Haru tried to reason, failing to keep the confusion from out of his voice.

"I agree with Haru. Perhaps Mister Musical is high?" Griff suggested.

"GRIFF!" Haru and Elie exclaimed loudly.

"PUUU!" Plue agreed, or at least, that's what it sounded like. Who could tell with that insect, ermmm, dog.

"THEY'RE COOOOOOOOOOOOOMING!" Musica exclaimed as he ran past them yet again, flailing his arms for balance every second. Apparently the vodka bottle had disappeared into his coat pocket.

Haru, Elie and Griff sweat dropped again, and Plue quietly murmured, "Puu…"

"Maybe Griff's right…" Elie spoke.

"All right then! We'll make it a game then! We'll split into teams!" Haru exclaimed, punching his fist into the air.

"Okay. I'm with Miss Elie then…" Gruff said, scuttling slowly over to her legs.

"AS IF! Me 'n Plue are goin' together! C'mon Plue!" Elie said happily, running off to where they had last seen Musica.

"Puu!" Plue jumped out her arms and ran alongside her again.

"Ooookay then, pervert. Looks like it's you and me Griff." Haru muttered, after thumping Griff rather hard on the squishy blue head of his.

"Okay." They ran off in the opposite direction of Elie and Plue.

Let's see how our not-so-sober friend Musica is doing now, eh?

-----------------

Musica stopped, his hands on his knees, keeled over, and then chucked it.

"Urgh… maybe the bar-tender was right…" He got up and looked around. "Well at least those creepy elephants are gone…"

_Look out! Look out!  
Pink elephants on parade  
Here they come!  
Hippety hoppety  
They're here and there  
Pink elephants ev'rywhere  
Look out! Look out!_

"AHHHHHHH!" Musica started running again, desperately looking around for somewhere to hide, seeing the elephants in his search.

The elephants glimmered and shone, the pink hides a light bubble gum colour. They did an array of different things, playing with lab equipment, wearing suits and jackets, painting a picture, playing trumpets and tubas and other brass instruments. He even saw one playing an organ! They sang nothing but that song—that God-Awful song that was going to remain in his head forever… Or, at least until he passed out.

"Wait a minute…" he muttered to himself.

He stopped suddenly, turning his head to glare at the creatures, a strange glimmer in his eye.

The elephants stopped all at once as well, stopping with rather confused faces on their well, ermmm, faces.

"I am a silver-claimer! I can defeat all of you with my mighty silver skull!" Musica gripped the necklace around his neck and threw it out, grasped in his hand.

"GET READY! FOR THE MOST BRUTAL ATTACK OF… SILVER NEEDLES!" Musica roared, his speech slurred and sloppy.

Several thousand silver specks shot out from the necklace and towards the elephants and towards that general direction.

The elephants cringed, fearing the worst only to find the silver zooming through them, seeing as they didn't exist.

Elie and Plue, however, turned the corner and found themselves facing a wall of… silver globs?

You see, seeing as Musica hadn't really focused enough on his attack, and the fact he was drunk and there was no such attack such as 'silver needles,' the result turned out… rather… different than he expected.

"Ewww! Gross Plue!" Elie complained, holding her hand to her head and pulling it away, both her hand and head covered in a silvery globby messy mixture.

"Puuuu!" Plue said loudly, completely clear of any silver.

"No fair Plue! How come you don't have any on you!?" Elie roared.

Plue shrugged. "Puu!"

Musica took note of Elie and Plue, but clearly, had not got all of the chemicals out of his system.

"ELIE! PLUUUUUUUUE! RUN AWAY! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" He roars, stumbling to his feet and running away.

"What are you talking about Musica? Come with Plue and me, and it'll all be OKAY. I think you just had a little too much to drink buddy." Elie held her arms out, palms up, and grinned awkwardly, trying to calm down her drunken friend.

"Wha…?" Muscia turned his head, stopping suddenly and tripping over his own two feet.

He narrowed his eyes, his vision sifting and yelled, quite suddenly and loudly, "OH MY GAWD! THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT, ISN'T IT?! THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY MY BOOOOOOOOOZE! RUN AWAY ELIE!" Musica got to his feet and started running away, as the elephants regained their composure and started chasing him again, wearing an African dress and wearing fruit hats and doing the conga-line dance, the song rising again in his head,

_They're walking around the bed  
On their head  
Clippety cloppety  
Arrayed in braid  
Pink elephants on parade  
What'll I do? What'll I do?  
What an unusual view!_

"Erg…" Elie sighed, collapsing on the ground in exhaustion.

"Puu!" Plue murmured, trying to soothe her.

"Oh Plue…" Elie sighed gently, taking Plue into her arms and muttered, "Hopefully Haru and Griff'll have more luck than us. Now, how to get his silver junk out of my hair…" She mused aloud…

Musica was holding his hand to his heart, breathing heavily.

"They're comin… They're all comin'… stupid elephants. As if being drunk isn't enough… Now the elephants are here…" He muttered, standing next to a doctor's office, lighting a cigarette.

He puffed the smoke into the air, his right eye twitching from the amount of drugs he was taking in.

"That's better…" He sighed, and closed his eyes, his head pounding.

Just then…

_I could stand the sight of worms_

The cigarette dropped from his mouth. "Oh, crap."

Elephants began filling the streets again, the music growing louder and louder in his head. Elephants dressed in pinkish lab coats with worms and microscopes in their hands began dancing around, laughing and singing their maniacal song.

_  
And look at microscopic germs_

The began to link feet/hands and prance around Musica in slow circles, as he backed away from the wall in fear.

_  
But technicolor pachyderms  
Is really much for me_

"Not again! Leave me alone you God-Awful Elephants!" He raged, holding his hands to his head then pin-wheeling them in an effort to make them go away.

At that moment, however, Haru and Griff had caught up with the young lush.

"Hey… Griff? What's Musica doing?" Haru asked, both of them sweat dropping at what looked like some sort of strange interpretive dance, his arms flailing and yelling some nonsense about elephants and worms, along with a few things that were rather to vulgar to mention in this story.

"I haven't the slightest idea Haru." Griff muttered, rubbing his head with his small three-fingered hand.

"Well, whatever the heck is wrong with him, we better make him better! Since Elie and Plue's 'kindness' method, we'll just have to make a head-on attempt!" Haru made a fist with his hand.

"Got the sedatives Griff?" He asked.

"Check, Haru." Griff held up a rather large needle filled with strange looking green liquid.

"Good, 'cause I got the net!" He held up an enormous butterfly net, "Let's get him! ATTACK!" Haru and Griff began running towards Musica, both screaming a loud and blunt war cry.

Musica, however, was sitting on the ground, tracing circles in the dust with his finger, pouting and tears streaming down his face.

"Why won't they leave me ALOOOOOOONE?! I just want my vodka…" He whimpered, sitting back on his butt and covering his eyes with his hands, pouting and whimpering. Completely oblivious to the raging Haru and Griff, screaming loudly.

Meanwhile, the elephants started to dance in circles around Musica, a rather large, pinkish one standing high above Musica, clasping its hands, ermm, paws, in an opera stance:

_I am not the type to faint  
When things are odd or things  
are quaint  
But seeing things you know that ain't  
Can certainly give you an awful fright!_

"Ain't it true, though?" Musica looked up at the singing pachyderm, only to collapse down to the ground, unconscious at the horrible sight of an elephant's bottom.

"What's wrong with Musica?" Haru asked, as he and Griff neared the sudden collapsing suddenly on the ground, alone.

"I haven't the faintest idea… Perhaps we should revive him, first?" Griff replied.

"Right."

Haru and Griff neared the unconscious Musica, meanwhile the elephants had faded away, for the time being.

"Hey, Musica, get up…" Haru pulled him up, Musica's head lolling limply to butt heads with Haru's own head, whereas Musica's mouth sagged open.

"Wheeeew-we!" Haru waved his hand in front of his and Musica's face, to clear the smell of the alcohol.

"I think somebody's been drinking a little too much tonight, buddy…" Haru muttered to Musica, his eye twitching in the scent of alcohol.

At that moment, however, Musica had regained consciousness.

"ELEPHANTS!"

Unfortunately, the first thing he saw were the pink elephants chuckling madly at his condition.

"DEMONS!" Musica broke away from Haru's grip and stumbled back a few feet, his teeth clenched and his fist trembling.

"THEY WANT MY VODKA!" He shouted at Haru and Griff, pointing at the elephants.

"BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE IT TO THEM!" Musica laughed evilly and pranced away, the elephants shrugging to themselves and continued to follow the drunken adolescent. The vodka bottle slipped from his loose grip and fell to the ground in front of Haru's feet.

"Ummm…" Griff and Haru sweatdropped.

"What just happened?" Haru asked, scratching his head after picking up the vodka bottle, smelling it experimentally.

"No idea…" Griff responded meekly.

"Should we… leave him alone 'till morning? I'm sure he'll still… be here. Somewhere in this town. Out like a light, maybe… but still." Haru muttered.

Taking a glance at Griff, he took a small swig at the bottle, a huge grin across his face as the glass left his lips.

"Hey, this stuff isn't that bad..." Haru's grin broadened, and took another swig.

"If you're going to get drunk you could atleast include me!" Griff lunged up at the bottle, taking a shot as well.

"Give it back!"

"There's plenty to go around, Haru."

"Ahhh... that's good stuff..."

Both of them grinned satisfactorily and began to walk away in curved paths to the hotel/casino where the group had been staying, singing a song that began to form itself in their head.

-----------------

Musica, at the moment, was sprawled unconscious against a homeless man, who was also out cold from a little too much to drink.

The elephants, still floating above Musica, sighed, clearly upset their fun had been taken away.

Until one of them spotted Haru and Griff. Grinning evilly, he nudged the others, until one by one they saw their new prey...

_What a sight!  
Chase 'em away!  
Chase 'em away!  
I'm afraid need your aid  
Pink elephants on parade!  
Pink elephants!  
Pink elephants! _

_

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Heh heh heh, can you tell I get bored pretty quickly? I'm proud, this is sort of humorous… n.n

I get the proud feeling of being able to say, 'First Drunken Musica fan-fiction.'

Please review and tell me what you think! D


End file.
